Counselling

Talking to someone can help you see things in an alternate light.

What is Counselling?
It’s a process which empowers you, increases your self-awareness and your sense of well-being. It’s an investment in your self. And for many; it is the first step on a path of discovering a more positive life.
Navigating through life without tripping over "stuff" is next to impossible. Insecurities, issues or crises eventually cross our paths. One of the best things we can do at such times is to reach out for help so we can find our “Inner Pathway” to reaching our full potential.

When Does Counselling Help?
Counselling can help anytime. It is never too late to seek counselling and it is especially important to do so when your problems are affecting the quality of your life, your interactions with others and your general well-being.

Why Go to Counselling?
To get beyond the insecurities, issues and crises and because you want to get more enjoyment out of life, understand yourself better, and be more in tune with yourself, or feel more connected to family, friends and community. The more you commit to the process the better the results will be.

Who Goes to Counselling?
Those who choose to face their fears, who want more out of life or who want to expand, grow and move forward in their lives both personally and professionally. Counselling is for people from all walks of life - children, teenagers, adults, elderly, single people, people in relationships, married people, divorced or separated couples - basically anyone who needs someone to talk to.

Where Counselling Takes Place?
Counselling is confidential and takes place in a safe, supportive, non-judgemental environment which fosters growth and healing.

My office is located at:
#6, 1638 Pandosy, Kelowna, BC

I also offer phone and on-line counselling for those who cannot access my office location.

How does Counselling Help? Counselling can:

• Give you the opportunity to talk to someone who will listen to, understand and accept you
• Offer a better understanding of your thoughts, feelings and behaviours and relationships
• Provide a way and a place to express your feelings and identify patterns which no longer work for you
• Alleviate and help you to understand anxiety, depression and anger
• Help you develop communication skills to express oneself and relate to others
• Provide a way to address pain, loss, low self-worth and self-esteem
• Allow you to move through feeling overwhelmed and not knowing where to turn
• Help you to move forward and realize your full potential by working through negative thoughts and destructive behaviours

What is the difference between counselling and psychotherapy?
Counselling is considered shorter in duration and more proactive in dealing with the effects of a problem.
Psychotherapy might also include the above elements but within the therapeutic process the therapist helps you to identify the patterns and causes to promote changes within you so you are at less risk of repeating the same situation in the future.

Individual Counselling

One-on-one counselling can be very beneficial when you reach an impasse in your life. Often, you question, examine, reassess your life and what your role is. Some of this questioning and exploration often triggers powerful feelings which can bring unresolved issues to the surface. Being able to work through these issues with someone you trust is essential to finding your way to wholeness. Individual counselling allows you to identify and understand underlying issues, how they affect who you are today and how you can use that understanding to move forward in your life. home. . .

Relationship/Couples Counselling

Do you find yourself wondering what went wrong in your relationship with each other? Are wondering if it's all worth the struggle it has become? Maybe you are dealing with infidelity, or indifference. Maybe you are even questioning your own feelings in this relationship.

Perhaps you are looking for clarity as to how to make things better or be able to reconnect more as a couple. Counselling can provide tools and support to help you rediscover yourself and each other.

Common areas of work in couples counselling include communication, trust, intimacy, boundary setting and responsibility sharing.

Life Transitions

We go through many stages in our lives and some of these stages take us through transitions which are life changing - transitions such as; leaving a relationship and entering another, changing careers, changing lifestyles or a lot of personal changes that alter the way you live your life.

Midlife

Midlife crisis is defined as: the notion that many middle-aged people go through a period of dramatic self doubt brought on by the realization that their life is half over and they haven't accomplished what they once wanted to do. The result may be a desire to make significant changes in a career, a marriage or romantic relationship, and other core aspects of day to day life.

A midlife crisis could be caused by aging itself, or aging in combination with changes, problems, or regrets over:

• work or career
• spousal relationships
• maturation of children
• aging or death of parents
• physical changes associated with aging

This can be a very stressful time for not only the person who is experiencing the crisis, and also for others involved in their lives. Counselling offers understanding and support for all those affected by these often difficult times.

Past Trauma

Past trauma can have a huge effect on how you lead your life today. Many people think that the way to deal with the past is to ignore it or pretend it didn’t happen or block it from their memory in the hopes that it will eventually go away.

Unfortunately it rarely, if ever, works that way. Repressed emotions and feelings manifest themselves in ways that will complicate and adversely affect your life in ways that will prevent you from living in the moment as who you are meant to be today. Past trauma can keep you stuck in the past or can show up as other problems such as phobias, compulsive obsessive behaviours or the sabotaging of your present life. It can be difficult to deal with the past on your own. Seeking professional help can help you deal with the past trauma and to move on with your life in the present.

Inner Child Work

No matter who we are, or how old we are, we all have a child within us who demands our attention and wants to be heard. Find out how some adult feelings of anxiety and fear are rooted in past childhood experiences. Getting in touch with your inner child can be very comforting and healing. Inner child work is a way to grieve through old wounds, change behaviour patterns and clear emotional processes. Your inner child represents your essence, the part of you that is creative, loving and true. Doing inner child work helps you learn to love yourself.

Grief/Loss/Bereavement

(Family, Friends, Partner, Job, Children, Home, Finances, Pets)

We all face numerous losses throughout our lives. Grief is a normal response to loss. Grief is what helps us adapt to the changes. It is an intense and personal process. Reactions to grief vary but it is common to feel that you are going crazy or losing your mind. You might go back and forth between shock, denial, anger, depression, guilt, loneliness and hope. Grief counselling can help you accept the reality of the loss, work through the pain of grief, adjust to your new situation and move on with your life.

The death of a loved one is a devastating blow that leaves us overwhelmed with intense, uncontrollable feelings. Through sharing our thoughts and feelings with someone, we become aware that our grief response is normal and we learn how to live with our loss.

Bereavement counselling offers people support to work through their feelings of grief and help to rebuild their shattered lives.

Depression

The first step in fighting depression is to understand what it is, how it affects you, and what causes it. Some people say depression is like being under a dark umbrella. People feel they have no energy, can’t concentrate, feel irritable, there is a loss of interest in activities, feeling listless and “down” for a long period of time. If these symptoms persist for more than two weeks and they interfere with your daily life, you could be a experiencing a depression. There are many tools and techniques and treatment plans to help you understand and work your way through the symptoms of depression. Speak with a counsellor and begin your journey back to well being.

Stress Management

Some stress is normal and even very useful but too much stress can affect us in ways that are counterproductive to our well-being. Stress is what you experience when you feel you have to deal with more than what you are used to or more than you can handle. So although a certain amount of stress can be good, stress that happens too often or lasts to long can affect your health and can be linked to headaches, trouble sleeping, anxiety, back pain and other physical manifestations.

We can’t always eliminate stress it is part of our daily lives. But when stress begins to affect our life in adverse ways seeking help from a counsellor can help you identify your stressors and learn ways to manage the stress in your life.

Self Esteem

Having good self esteem is valuing yourself, treating yourself and others well and making good choices about your health, your body, your life. So having a good sense of self is one of the most important things you can have. If you value and think of yourself as important, you will value and think of others as important as well. “You can’t touch it, but it affects how you feel. You can’t see it, but it’s there when you look at yourself in the mirror. You can’t hear it, but it’s there every time you talk about yourself.” That is your self esteem. It’s one of the most important aspects of who you are. Counselling can help you have a healthy sense of self.

Childhood Sexual Abuse

If you were abused as a child you are probably still dealing with the effects in your life today. Childhood sexual abuse can affect many areas of your life such as your school, your job, your relationships and sex and your family.

Sexually abused children come from every race, religion and culture, from rich families and poor families. The first thing to know is that you are not alone and that there is a way out of the pain you are feeling. There is a way to heal. You don’t have to live with the effects of the abuse for the rest of your life. The decision to heal is a powerful, positive choice and one you deserve to make. It is important to have the support of at least one person to guide you on that healing journey.

Gay Issues

All people experience life's challenges but those in the gay community often have to deal with additional stresses. I offer counselling services to lesbian and gay individuals and to those who question their sexuality. Counselling can also be beneficial for friends and family members who want to understand.

Self Acceptance

Self-acceptance and a positive self-image are the most important aspects of living a full and satisfying life. Our focus is to help you make this a permanent part of your life.

Gay and Lesbians often experience a more difficult time with accepting their wholeness. They frequently encounter feelings of being inferior and of being judged as bad because of who they are. This feeling, commonly known as shame, can get internalized, lead to silence, self-loathing and destructive behaviours.

Counselling can offer a way to "come out" of shame and begin the journey toward wholeness and self-acceptance. Through self-affirming and inspirational ways you can restore self-esteem and create a positive identity.

Coming Out

Coming out is a process of understanding, accepting, and valuing your own orientation/identity. It involves coping with the responses and attitudes of others. It is a very personal process which happens in different ways, occurs at different ages and happens over time. I understand and offer support as you go through the process of:

• Exploring your identity.
• Getting in touch with your feelings.
• Working towards self acceptance.
• Struggling with honesty.
• Coming out to yourself.
• Coming out to friends, family, at work.
• Those who are supportive and those who aren’t.
• Societal issues.
• Dealing with rejection and what it means to you.
• Working towards positive self-identification and integration.

The decision to come out is always personal. I am here not to make choices for you but to support you in the choices you make for yourself.

Care Giver Stress

Balancing care giving and other responsibilities can be one of the most challenging situation you will encounter. This can have a significantly bigger impact on your life than you anticipated. It can affect your job, your relationships and your own sense of self. Finding time for you individually or as a couple and maintaining your own sense of well being is extremely important and often very hard to do.

Having someone to talk to about your concerns, frustrations, fears, and numerous other emotions which surface and seem impossible to handle is one of the most important and helpful things you can do for yourself.

Family-of-Origin Issues

To state it very simply, dealing with Family-of-Origin issues is “healing from our past to be able to move forward in the present.” A lot of present day emotional or mental health problems can be a result of Family-of-Origin experiences. Anger, frustration, the need to control, depression, fear and anxiety can all be connected to unresolved issues from the past. Understanding how the past has impacted you can help you make lasting changes in your future.

Co-Dependency Issues

Co-dependency is very common in people raised in dysfunctional families, and in the partners and children of alcoholics and addicts. It’s a learned behaviour that can be passed down from one generation to another. Co-dependency results in dysfunctional patterns of living and problem solving developed during childhood in order to survive as a result of family rules such as “don’t rock the boat.”

Counselling can help you become more aware of non-helpful actions and behaviours and can help you develop new, healthier coping skills.

Burnout

When you’re burned out, everything seems magnified, problems seem insurmountable, everything looks bleak, and it’s difficult to muster up the energy to care—let alone do something about your situation. You feel overwhelmed and unable to meet the demands that you see. This state is often referred to as emotional exhaustion.

Burnout can be healed and you can recover your sense of balance. Seeking support through counselling can help you regain your sense of well-being.

Anxiety Disorders, Panic Attacks & Fears

Anxiety and panic attacks go hand in hand. Anxiety is characterized by excessive, exaggerated worry about everyday life events. A panic attack is a sudden surge of overwhelming fear which comes without warning and for no obvious reason.

Symptoms of a panic attack include: racing heartbeat, feeling like you can’t get air, dizziness, hot flashes or chills, fear you are going crazy or going to die, nausea, chest pains, tingling in fingers and toes. A panic attack can be terrifying. Counselling can provide understand and coping skills to help you manage and create the changes you would like to see.

Separation/Divorce

“Some marriages end suddenly while others seem to fall apart over a long period of time. No matter what the cause, if your marriage fails, you are likely to feel a whole range of intense emotions: sadness, anger, hurt, fear of an uncertain future, loneliness, confusion over the many decisions you must make, and a sense of failure at your lost plans and dreams.

How you choose to handle a separation is very important because of the effect it will have on the rest of your life.

“If you do not deal with the pain, and if you allow yourself to become bitter, you will be unhappy for a very long time.” Canadian Mental Health Association

Take the steps you need to take in order to move forward now and in future relationships.

Women’s Issues

Many issues are specific to women. Here at Inner Pathways I support the empowerment of women by assisting them and encouraging them in their growth and well-being in the challenges they face.

Counselling can help keep you focused on making lasting lifestyle changes that reflect your highest values.

Personal Growth and Empowerment

Each and every one of us has strengths within us. Getting in touch with your strengths can be one of the most powerful and life changing things you can do. The more you connect with this power, the more you will feel comfortable and solid in who you are, realize your full potential and find freedom in all areas of your life.

I can help you work on self-awareness, discovering your core beliefs, mental clearing, manifestation, and affirmations that will help you manifest your visions for the future.

Spiritual Growth

No matter what principles or practice of spirituality you embrace, whether you follow a traditional religion, a Higher Power, or a belief in something greater, I believe that heart, mind and body are vital to a sense of spiritual well-being and my goal is to enhance your appreciation of whatever practice you follow and the beliefs that are important to you.

annette@innerpathways.ca
250-807-2746

Canadian Professional Counsellors Association